


I dreamt that you and I were in love.

by rohpsohpic



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Character Study, Confessions, Drabble, Dreams, Inspired by Dreams, Late Night Conversations, Love Confessions, M/M, Stolen Moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 09:31:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20289262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rohpsohpic/pseuds/rohpsohpic
Summary: “I dreamt that you and I, Joshua and Jeonghan, were in love,” Jeonghan said.Joshua took this in stride, contemplating it with his head tilted forward, watching the sidewalk to make sure he didn’t step on a crack. The world looked blue, almost violet. “Oh.” He didn’t sound too shocked about it. “Did something special happen?”“No,” Jeonghan said, an inexplicable smile tugging at his mouth just a little. You could fit seventy cats in Joshua’s room, and when he opened the door, he wouldn’t question a thing. Slowly, he closed it. His mouth, that is. His heart was spinning, just a little. “Nothing special happened. Not in the dream, either.”Joshua was quiet for a long time. It was a normal time for Joshua.Finally, he said, “Tell me about it.”





	I dreamt that you and I were in love.

“I dreamt that you and I, Joshua and Jeonghan, were in love,” Jeonghan said.

Joshua took this in stride, contemplating it with his head tilted forward, watching the sidewalk to make sure he didn’t step on a crack. The world looked blue, almost violet. “Oh.” He didn’t sound too shocked about it. “Did something special happen?”

“No,” Jeonghan said, an inexplicable smile tugging at his mouth just a little. You could fit seventy cats in Joshua’s room, and when he opened the door, he wouldn’t question a thing. Slowly, he closed it. His mouth, that is. His heart was spinning, just a little. “Nothing special happened. Not in the dream, either.”

Joshua was quiet for a long time. It was a normal time for Joshua.

Finally, he said, “Tell me about it.”

“We were trainees, and we were at an event that was way out of our league. They had a chocolate fountain and plastic plates with that gold trim and everything. We were so confused,” Jeonghan said. His heart did something at the word “trainees” at the same time that his mouth laughed, quietly, like it remembered the word from a long time ago and had not used it since. Joshua gave an amused hum. “And I tapped you on the shoulder like this, and I said, ‘Let’s go outside.’ Or maybe I didn’t say it, but you knew, and you were already moving even before you looked at me.”

“That definitely sounds like Joshua and Jeonghan,” Joshua said wryly. If he noticed Jeonghan’s hand lingering on his shoulder a little longer than the demonstration entailed, he didn’t point it out.

“And we sat on the sidewalk outside with our legs crossed,” Jeonghan said.

They were still walking, though it hadn’t been very long, and they hadn’t walked very far.

Joshua found an open space on the sidewalk and sat down. He just sat down. There was no one else outside to see him, but it was strange to see Joshua’s lack of qualms out in public, even with an audience of only Jeonghan. Nowadays, Joshua was always overly aware of the lights and the cameras, and it was getting rarer and rarer to find the moments when Joshua could just be himself. Sometimes, it felt like his head was getting too big and the world was getting too small. “Like this?”

“Almost,” Jeonghan said. He sat down next to Joshua, their knees close to touching. The ground was warmer than he thought. Above them, the night yawned. Jeonghan looked up. “It was night then, too.”

Joshua looked up, too. The night was a deep purple. “What did we do?”

“Talked, mostly,” Jeonghan said. “Teased each other. Smiled at the ground. Sometimes, you moved your fingers and I wanted to hold them.”

“Do you remember what we said?”

“No,” Jeonghan said. “I tried. I wish I did.”

Jeonghan reminded himself to breathe, to avoid shattering the dream as the pieces came back to him, sporadic and broken and beautiful, like detritus on a current. Joshua shifted.

“So when did you know that we were in love?” Joshua asked, and when Jeonghan’s heart skipped without warning, he added, tactfully, “In the dream?”

They were still sitting on the sidewalk, and it felt like the sky was swallowing them.

“I don’t know,” Jeonghan said. “It was just a feeling.”

Joshua laughed, shortly. “Isn’t it always?”

The moment stretched onward, indefinitely into the future, as Jeonghan tried to find the words to describe what it was like, living in the dream, even for a night. How his dreams never came with any heating or air conditioning, but that previous night on the sidewalk of his mind, they had sat there and stayed up talking for an eternity and it had almost felt warm.

“We didn’t do anything special. We did as we always did,” Jeonghan conceded, “but with the single . . . subtle . . .  _ definitive _ difference that you and I were in love. I don’t know how to explain it. We were totally normal, but everything was different.”

Joshua was sitting next to him, but his voice came from somewhere far away, pulled from an untraceable somewhere under his skin, as if he was saying it from the inside of his mind. He had a habit of getting lost in his own thoughts. Most of the time, it was Jeonghan’s least favorite part of Joshua. Joshua’s thoughts were always getting the better of him, and it reminded him too much of an old version of himself. “I get that.”

Jeonghan wanted to say something, he just couldn’t figure out what.

And then, without realizing it, he did.

“Joshua, do you love me?”

Joshua whipped his head around to face him, almost too quickly. Jeonghan allowed himself, briefly, to consider the possibility that Joshua’s heart was spinning, too. It seemed impossible when Joshua himself had stilled. There was panic in his eyes, but his voice was calm as he retorted, “Do you love me, Yoon Jeonghan?”, as if he was hoping it was some kind of joke.

Jeonghan wanted to say, “I asked you first,” but what he wanted to say more was, plainly, “Yes.”

There were a lot of things that he didn’t love about Joshua, but somehow, that never stopped him from doing it. He had tried. He had wished they did.

They never did.

He didn’t know that Joshua was holding his breath until he let it out. The dream, the current, blown through the night with a single inaudible exhale. Joshua’s head bent forward, to the sidewalk and the long walk ahead of it.

“I love you, too.”

So they had said it, and now it seemed that there was nothing left to say at all no matter how hard they looked. The dream, the night, and the moment had converged so subtly that it felt like he had missed it. Everything was blowing by, and Jeonghan and Joshua were the only two real things sitting in the current.

Their knees touched.

**Author's Note:**

> So I had this dream last night . . .


End file.
